Marriage

Why are couples blessed with children who aren't as committed to marriage or family? At times these thoughts would plague me, turning me inwards, to a selfish centre.
Infertility puts added strain onto a marriage, even those who are committed to the towards having a healthy, happy marriage.
It is easy to find blame whether it is internal or external, we want to direct our frustrations somewhere.  It is especially harder if the reason for infertility is unknown.
Couples can take one of two paths during this trial in their marriage; they can turn and support each other or turn away from each other.
The last choice obviously is the wrong choice, but it can happen, slowly without intension.
Feelings are hurt and never talked about, finding new interests that take a spouse away from "spousal time" ( my alternative to "family time"), blaming oneself or the other for infertility.  You may even wonder did I marry the right man?

Infertility can be a joyous time for you and your spouse to work together on a great goal. You can grow closer as each month comes and goes.

I would like to suggest three things that has helped us:


1.  Talk: communication is vital in marriage especially during times of trial. Share feelings, even if you think they are silly. Along with talking comes listening. Really listen, listen without formulating a response. Give the other person a safe place to vent, cry and communicate concerns.

2. Pray: praying as a couple gives each other hope. There is nothing sweeter than hearing your spouse pray for your needs. Together as you communicate to God you will be inspired to know His will and he will succour you. He knows how to heal your hearts.

3. Serve: serving each other will bring greater joy into your lives. Couples who put each other's needs first have found that they love each other more deeply than before.